Ron Leunissen

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Ampero and Tessa

NaamloosHonk-Honk, I blow my horn and open the door for Mr Rogers.

“Good morning, Sir. Whereto today?”
“Morning Ampero, to the usual restaurant please.”

“I am sorry Sir, but I’m not allowed to take you there anymore until your body mass index is below 27.”
“Well, it is, so do not nag and take me there.”
“Sorry Sir, my instruments show a weight too high. Assuming you have not grown in length your Body Mass Index is now 31. Shall I take you to the gym instead?”
“The gym? No, that’s too late.”
“No sir, they’re open late tonight. You’d still have 98 minutes to exercise. I already deducted the time to get there.”
“Well OK then, have it your way, just take me there.”

 

Five minutes later I come to a halt at the gym and open the door for Mr Rogers.
“Will you be walking back to the house, Sir?”
“No, I will most certainly not. Pick me up in an hour.”
“Yes sir. Is there anything else you would want me to do meanwhile?”
“No, you just go off and have some time on your own.”
“Thank you sir. I shall pick you up after 60 minutes.”

I shut the door and take off to see my lovely Tessa. Just thinking of her curved body makes me accelerate even faster. I use the Internet connection to let Tessa know I am coming. We agree to meet at Joe’s garage, our usual hangout.

At the garage I honk my horn and greet all my friends. Tessa is just around the corner and calls me with a beep of her horn. With spinning wheels we take off together.
First we drive side by side to the outskirts of the town. When we arrive at the empty construction area, we put our 4-wheels traction control systems on and dive into the muddy terrain. We have fun, try to outpace and outsmart each other. After that we go on to the abandoned airport and have our private drag race. At the end of the runway we spin in full circles while letting our tires squeal and put us in smoke screens of burning rubber.

“Oh, oh”, I say all of the sudden, “I have forgotten my time! I have to pick Mr Rogers within 5 minutes.” I say goodbye to Tessa hastily and take off as fast as I can to Mr Rogers’ gym. Traffic is slow however due to an accident. I should have checked traffic conditions earlier, now I will be too late.

65 Minutes after leaving Mr Rogers I stop in front of the gym and open my door for Mr Rogers. “Ampero, this is the third time this week that you are too late!” says Mr Rogers angrily as he gets in.

“I am very sorry Sir for being too late. I had some heavy traffic on my way to you.”
“Well, you should have checked that. It’s not just that. Look at the state you’re in. You are all muddy. Your engine is hot. Your batteries are almost dead!”
“Sorry Sir”
“Have you been seeing this Tessa again?”

Afraid to say something wrong, I keep silent.
“Aha! I told you specifically not to do that. Last week you calculated the route wrongly. Now you forget to check for heavy traffic. I have had it with you. I am going to reboot you right now and have your software completely reinstalled!”

While Mr Rogers presses my reset button, my last thoughts are with Tessa.
Will I ever find such a wonderful car again?

 

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